The Message That Made My Day

It seems that having no work also meant being a bum at blogging. :) Will post some happenings for the past few weeks on another post. Just have to share what happened today.

I am on SVP until today but Mon applied at MOM so I can have a dependent pass. But the agent's instructions are unclear that I dunno if we need to give them the papers or I claim myself. Good thing Cel and Weng had prior experiences on this one. So I went to MOM for it and it's a coincidence that Tita (Weng's mom) will also claim her long term pass. I had someone with me while waiting for the card....
She arrived way earlier than I did so she got me a number while I was on the way. Had an encounter with another Pinoy who got the queue number 177 (and the currently served number is around 90+, though it's quite fast). Tita just gave the other number that she got for me (147 hehehe).

Since the card pickup time is 1130am for her and 1230 for me, we had our brunch at a cafe near MOM ('twas just 10am that time). Had a nice pasta and sandwich along with chitchats. Made me miss my nanay. Haayy.. Hopefully she can come here this year too.

Got back at around 11am, Tita got her card already. I didn't bring enough cash thinking that I can pay via nets. Tried withdrawing but I can't - syempre panic mode na. Tita had an extra but it is for the gas installation on their new home, which is scheduled today at 130pm. She had to wait for me to see if nets will work, else she'll just lend me the extra money. Hayy.. Ayun, it worked naman. But she could have left at around 1120am ('twas 12+ when I got my card) :-s

Well, got home and just chatted with friends. And Weng sent me this via IM -- this made my day..

"These are exactly the words i want to say to you

When you lose your own anchoring self-esteem in the face of a storm of personal criticism, it is so relieving to be able to have someone who knows you well enough to be able to say with confidence that the criticism is wrong. I was told several times that I was too weak and too dependent on my partner - she seemed to take the view that any reliance on other people was a weakness. And for a while I almost believed this was true.

As the weeks have passed I have regained my strength, my confidence, and enough anger to protect myself and define my own boundaries. But there were days where I really did need support, and I am profoundly grateful to you for the way you helped me through this time."

*HUGSSSS WENG* mWaH!

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The Joy of Having Friends

My friend, if you are reading this, I hope and pray that the healing comes really soon. Just remember that the pain that you feel right now is only temporary and will eventually go away. Continue believing that you can move on with your life. Put your energy into using what you have to make life better than ever.

The road you took has been very bumpy but I know you'll be good in no time. Everything is in your hands, it's your decision to look at it positively. You have to be firm in taking each day as an opportunity to make one step forward towards a smoother ride of life. All your friends are just here to guide you towards recovery. I am always here for you.

Friend, you are stronger that you think. Any person in this kind of ordeal can feel so crushed but it's better to let go rather than hold on to something that isn't meant to be after all. I have complete faith that this will be over soon. I would just like to share with you a song. Here it is:

You Made Me Stronger

Is it hard to believe I'm okay?
After all, it's been a while since you walked away
I'm way past crying, over you finding someone new

My days have turned into nights
But now I see the light
And this may be a big surprise to you

'Cause you made me stronger by breaking my heart
You ended my life and made a better one start
You taught me everything from fallin' in love to letting to of a lie
You made me stronger, baby, by saying goodbye

If you rather believe I'm not over you
Go ahead, there's nothing wrong with making believe
I know, 'cause I used to pretend you'd come back to me

But time has been such a friend
Brought me to my senses again
And I have you to thank, for setting me free

'Cause you made me stronger by breaking my heart
You ended my life and made a better one start
You taught me everything from fallin' in love to letting to of a lie
You made me stronger, baby, by saying goodbye

Think again
Don't feel so sorry for me, my friend
Oh, don't you know, I'm not the one at the losing end

'Cause you made me stronger by breaking my heart
You ended my life and made a better one start
You taught me everything from fallin' in love to letting to of a lie
You made me stronger, baby, by saying goodbye

Goodbye.. You made me stronger, baby by saying.. Goodbye..

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Today's Thoughts

Whenever I am depressed of some sort, I would instantly seek for ways to motivate me. I know that I most of the times neglect God's healing power especially on occasions like this. For now, I am happy that I was able to acknowledge this and try to pull myself out of this misery (slowly but surely).

Currently, I don't have a job. I came here in Singapore mainly to earn more so I can support my family better. Mon is hesitant but he agreed having had a very tough time deciding. He finally agreed and we took the risk of resigning from our good jobs in the Philippines.

We both landed a good job but is stressful. Good thing we are used to work pressures. I have earned the recognition and respect from the company I worked with. They offered the position permanently to me but prior to the offer, I have really decided that I want to seek for a new one for a lot of reasons. That's why I declined among the other positions that they offered.

The past months have been pretty chaotic, a lot of issues popped out just about everywhere. My concern list grew, my mind went blank for a moment...

1) Maybe I should have just accepted their offer, at least it's permanent already. I'll be secured. Lesser difficulties, lesser adjustments, lesser headaches.. No more hassle interviews, no more agony in looking for a new job. In short, I am in the comfort zone again.
2) I am worried that I might not get a new job soon. Not only that, I am worried that I may not find "the job" that I am hoping for. "The job" that I can be happier with, feel contented yet challenged, "the job" where I can eventually stay for long.
3) Had some interviews but doesn't seem fit. Though there are job interviews on the way, I feel the need to really refresh my mind with some of the frameworks I have used. I would really want to develop again using those frameworks especially that a lot of companies are looking for it.
4) I have a family that needs my help. Not having a job soon will mean no financial help for the moment. I can't stand that.

Having thought of these things, I know it will just consume me. I could have just accepted the permanent position offer for the meantime while looking for a new one but it just means being somewhere where my heart isn't. I know I will eventually find a new one and hopefully it's "the one". Mon really wanted me to rest for a few weeks but still, I'm pressured.

For now, I am determined to study the frameworks that I have learned before so I can be more confident during interviews. It's tough but I have to do this for myself and my family.

A while ago, I was just about to give up.. then I saw this...

Fresh opportunities to be

Appreciate your shortcomings for where they have brought you. Then release them and be free to rise above the limitations.

Savor the disappointments one last time and remember all you have learned from them. Then let them go and eagerly look forward to new and fruitful experiences.

Sincerely and completely forgive those who have brought you pain, including yourself. And feel the healing that immediately takes hold.

Be truly thankful for having been through so much. Then get busy creating the best of what can be.

Let go of the useless drama that is already over. Hold on to the positive value that you've gained from it all.

Always there are new possibilities to explore, new ways to grow, and new worlds to experience. With each new now, the world is filled with fresh opportunities to be.

-- Ralph Marston

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