Why Can't I? (Long Post)

My stubbornness is taking its toll on me. For a few years now, I have been continuously gaining weight.

I have tried numerous times to cut my food intake. From cereal drinks to whole grain breads.. I have been working my ass off but I only lost a few pounds. Arrrggghh! It was already more than 2 months of intake cutting and it's disappointing to know that I just lost a few pounds. Then came my relapse, as I went back to my unhealthy eating habits. Boo.. Zero.. Failed.. Thinking about it, I should have backed up my cutting of food by exercising more, I would have lost a few more pounds. Oh well..

I have been ignoring the times when I see myself in the mirror and feel frustrated about what I see. It came to a point where I avoided big mirrors, so as not to see my body.

What's worst is that my weight gain is now affecting my health. I previously had a general checkup and diagnosis says that I have high triglycerides (bad cholesterol) count. And my blood sugar is nearing the maximum for normal count.

I can provide numerous reasons for eating more than I should but that's not the point. I do know reasons why I keep on getting back in the same situation: I am not disciplined and determined enough to address this issue.

Those two words are really huge to take. It takes a great deal of effort be that person specially for someone like me who appreciates food A LOT and actually uses food as my outlet for stress and problems. *sad* :(

But then it got me back to thinking of my health. And that alone is a wake up call for me. Now is my chance to really do something about this. I do not want to have regrets in the end. I really hope and pray that I be blessed with more patience and determination to help me be healthier. Will post more updates about this..