Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010...

2009.. a year that was.. a year full of extreme emotions and realizations..

Yes, it is indeed a year that was. Another set of chapters in our lives that we can't go back to and change. It is something that we now just have to cherish and be thankful for.

Honestly, this year has been a roller coaster ride for me in terms of my emotions. It actually brought me a lot of tears and pain, and it is just one but HUGE incident. Losing our 'Angel' really made me brokenhearted and devastated. At some point, I felt that this is the end of all... That I don't want to go through life after that happened. I even have fears of getting pregnant again (more of trauma) until now. It was really the 'darkest hours' of my life. The first few weeks were agonizing. I don't want to see and talk to someone else besides Mon and my Nanay. It took me a while to be ready to talk to my closest friends about it. I guess I don't want them to see that I am too fragile and vulnerable that time.

But despite of isolating myself to them, I was still really blessed that God gave me a circle of very supportive family and friends. They understood what I have been going through and gave me the space I need. Though there were a few times that I felt some friends were a bit insensitive (imho), I know it is unintentional and they just want to share what good new (life is not just about me just because that painful thing happened of course). Also, I think it is just God lending His hand for me to get over this pain and bitterness inside me -- fast. Don't get me wrong or magtampo of some sort, I just want to share what I felt during those times and I completely understand it. I still am and forever thankful for all the help. :)

Amidst this traumatic experience, Mon never left my side. He was also in pain (and cried numerous times too) but he endured and absorbed everything just for me. He's my shield, my protector, my sanity. I'm super glad that it made our relationship more rock solid.

Oh well, for the other good ones, 2009 made me feel rich and abundant. I am so rich with love from family and friends, rich with experiences that has made me a better person (I think). I felt abundant because I have provided more to my family in 2009 than the years before (not just monetary but emotional support as well). I have never felt more attached to my family than before. :)

It's also a good year for me work-wise because even though the global economy is weak, I didn't lose my job nor we had pay cuts. Our company really did their best to give those things despite the slump.

Some more realizations:

- Life is short, time is gold. Those are cliches but is so darn true. Life has to be maximized to the fullest, else regrets come after.

- No man is an island. Life is great with your families and friends by your side. Changes in life is inevitable but NEVER, EVER abandon your family/friends because of that change. In the end, it's them who will pull you up in times of trouble.

- Save money for the future but never forget the present. The NOW has to be enjoyed also. Mahirap naman na marami ngang pera, hindi naman magawa ang mga gustong gawin kasi physically weak na.

- It is fun and refreshing to reminisce and look back on the old times. Makes you appreciate the people in your inner circle more. Makes you very thankful to God for giving you those people.

- Prayers really do wonders especially when it is done together. :)

2010.. a year to look forward to.. a year to make a positive difference.. a year of more love in our hearts..

Let's keep and treasure the good things in 2009 and throw away the bad ones. This year, I am hoping and praying that this will be the year of more love, happiness and satisfaction in life and better relationship with people. Hard as it may seem, our lives must focus more on appreciation and positivity. Help some more. Smile some more. Laugh some more. Hug some more. Respect some more. :)

Happy new year everyone! Hope this year will be great for all of us! Cheers!